Bumper sticker of the day

"We souport publik edukasion"

The preacher and the driver

After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed that a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than he.

"I don't understand," he complained to God. "I devoted my entire life to my congregation."

"Our policy here in heaven is to reward results," God explained. "Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?"

"Well," the minister had to admit, "some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time."

"Exactly," said God, "and when people rode in this man's taxi, they not only stayed wake, they even prayed.......

Don't ever try to cover your ass, when wrong

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

NOW --------

Enough of that crap . . .

The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

The Mallu's Way Of Thinking

A sardarji had placed an advert for candidates to select for a trip to the stars …in short, to outer space.

He was certain that the candidates would not make it back and hence was offering a high reward. Finally he short listed three candidates……A sardarj, a tamilian and of course a mallu…

The sard asked for 3L for the trip, but the Tamilian only 1L and the interviewer made a note of both... However, the Mallu, asked for 3L but offered the interviewer 1L as you know [a gift for his family] …The interviewer obviously selected the mallu.

The next day after the launch, he noted the Mallu hanging around the canteen. The interviewer was furious. He walked up to him and asked him, what the meaning of his presence was or why he didn’t go.

The Mallu told him not to worry and explained to him the details of the launch….. that is to say, he had paid the Tamilian 1L and had send him…..

Amen

Thought For The Day

Donkey and Onion

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!


Sumthing to think about…..

The policeman and the prostitute

A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area and asked for her profession to which she replied that she was a social engineer.

The Policeman inquired further and asked her to be specific..

To which she countered... I build and destroy erections !