A mother had 3 daughters.
They were all getting married within a short time period. The mother was a bit worried on how they were going to cope with sex.. as thet never had it before... So, she made them all promise to send her a postcard with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mum was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said.. Good till the last drop.
Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mum took out some of her latest magazines, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
The mother fainted...
Friday, March 30, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Cyber-sex-lay-about-and-nerdo-well
Just a piece of information...
It is estimated that 75 percent of Japanese women own vibrators.
The global average is only 47 percent
Perhaps this may be due to the influence of electronics in their society... it is also believed that the next generation of japanese vibrators.."comes" with a robot !
The maximum depth at which vaginal stimulation occurs is only 2"
This makes it all the more funny, when women complain about being shagged, sorry that is when they complain that they have a headache when asked for sex !
A female orgasm is a powerfull painkiller [because of the release of endorfines], so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex... Women must be educated on this aspect !
It is believed that one in three men, cheats on his partner, as opposed to one in four women. However it is sad that only 28% of female cheaters get caught, while you don't want to know the male side... it may make you cry !
By the way... a "cybersexlayaboutandneerdowell" is a person who reads sex trivia pages on the Internet...
So thanks for droppin by !!
It is estimated that 75 percent of Japanese women own vibrators.
The global average is only 47 percent
Perhaps this may be due to the influence of electronics in their society... it is also believed that the next generation of japanese vibrators.."comes" with a robot !
The maximum depth at which vaginal stimulation occurs is only 2"
This makes it all the more funny, when women complain about being shagged, sorry that is when they complain that they have a headache when asked for sex !
A female orgasm is a powerfull painkiller [because of the release of endorfines], so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex... Women must be educated on this aspect !
It is believed that one in three men, cheats on his partner, as opposed to one in four women. However it is sad that only 28% of female cheaters get caught, while you don't want to know the male side... it may make you cry !
By the way... a "cybersexlayaboutandneerdowell" is a person who reads sex trivia pages on the Internet...
So thanks for droppin by !!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Jack Off ?
The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem.
He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.
His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support.
At night the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off.
Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one.
Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive.
At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. "I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to lay you or Jack off."
"Oh, Jack-off" Mary says, "I've got a headache."
He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.
His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support.
At night the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off.
Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one.
Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive.
At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. "I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to lay you or Jack off."
"Oh, Jack-off" Mary says, "I've got a headache."
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
A pick up line that will assure you a date..
This one is for those newbies....
Here is a pick up line that will assure that a girl you meet will never forget you.
First, never act that you are fluent in the language... Spanish accent would be an added advantage....
I'm kinda hungry, can I eat you out.....
Here is a pick up line that will assure that a girl you meet will never forget you.
First, never act that you are fluent in the language... Spanish accent would be an added advantage....
I'm kinda hungry, can I eat you out.....
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
The Cock Soup
Obviously, the chicks love it !
Reckon, they go in and ask for a sweet corn cock soup....
Eessh... the anatomy taken down to such low heights [pun intended ! ]
No wonder in Jamaica, males settle for "Rum and Coconut Water" !
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Has yours risen by now ?
A bakery owner hires a young sexy blonde who liked to wear very short sexy skirts and thong panties, not to mention braless tops that showed of her big boobs.
One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the sexy girl and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the sexy girl was a blonde, and that the length of her skirt [or lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread ... on the very top shelf ... he politely says to the hottie, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."
She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view of the thongs and the tits, just as he surmised she would. When the blonde comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.
As the sexy woman retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the sexy blonde seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young sexy woman climb up and down.
After many trips, the blonde is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.
Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the sexy girl and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the sexy girl was a blonde, and that the length of her skirt [or lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread ... on the very top shelf ... he politely says to the hottie, "I'd like some raisin bread, please."
She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view of the thongs and the tits, just as he surmised she would. When the blonde comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.
As the sexy woman retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the sexy blonde seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young sexy woman climb up and down.
After many trips, the blonde is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet.
Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
Monday, March 12, 2007
NOKIA Phone Vibrator
The new "NOKIA Phone Vibrator".........
Call me and I shall come.......wherever you may be !
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Christ Announces Hiring Of Associate Christ
JERUSALEM—
Overwhelmed by a constant deluge of prayers and appeals for salvation, Jesus Christ announced Monday the hiring of Tacoma, WA, customer-service supervisor Dean Smoler as Associate Christ.
I've been in need of an Assistant Savior for a long time now, and I'm thrilled to finally have one," Christ told reporters at a press conference aired on the Trinity Broadcasting Network. "Dean is an experienced guy who will really help ease my workload."
For more details... CLICK HERE
Overwhelmed by a constant deluge of prayers and appeals for salvation, Jesus Christ announced Monday the hiring of Tacoma, WA, customer-service supervisor Dean Smoler as Associate Christ.
I've been in need of an Assistant Savior for a long time now, and I'm thrilled to finally have one," Christ told reporters at a press conference aired on the Trinity Broadcasting Network. "Dean is an experienced guy who will really help ease my workload."
For more details... CLICK HERE
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