Thursday, May 31, 2007

Being conscientious doesn't always help !

Another lession to be made note for those who are too conscientious.......

NASA officials were interviewing three prospective astronauts to sent to Mars on a dangerous one-way trip. Only one of the three would go, and that candidate would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first candidate, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid to go.

"One million dollars," replied the engineer, "and I want it donated to my alma mater, Rice University."

The interviewer asked the next candidate the same question.

"Two million dollars," answered the doctor, "and I want to give one million to my family and leave the other million to medical research."

The third candidate, a lawyer, was asked the same question.

"Three million dollars!" replied the lawyer.

"Why so much?" the interviewer inquired.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me three million, I'll keep a million, give you a million, and we'll send the engineer."

Amen !

Mind your language

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a Sikh and a Frenchman who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears.

Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then your wish will come true."

The Frenchman wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE..... The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russians turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER" and he became so contented with his beer pool that he started drinking and forgot about swimming.

The last was the Sikh's turn.... he was running towards the pool when he accidentally steps on a banana peel, slips and says "SHIT" ........ the rest is hisrtory !!!!

Mind your language; you never know what it will land you in.......

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Internet Home Business and EQ Competency

Internet-Home-Business is not something new nowadays.. most work-at-home moms practise it, students in college utilise it for extra income, it keeps retirees busy and some working people use it as a part-time income source.

Few people have also made it a full time occupation and, have succeeded as well..

I am also in this jig, and reckon one of the things you ought to know before starting a home business is how to avoid the setbacks

One of the important things after you have identified your home based Internet-business, is that you have to sit down and analyze certain factors, i.e., your skills, the areas you are good at etc.,

Few of the important factors required prior to starting on a home-based-business venture are mentioned below.

This is something most of us overlook - I used to, and still am a mess when it comes to organising and time management. This is mainly because of the lack of discipline that slowly filters into home-businesses. No wonder they call it working in your pajamas !

So it would help if you initially do a bit of time management and eliminate some of the things that aren't important to you. In short, readjust your priorities. What's eating up your time that you could eliminate or if possible, delegate to someone else?

Work on your resilience, an important factor.. which is widely recognised as EQ or Emotional-Quotient competency. This pertains to being able to bounce back from failures, loss, rejections and adversity. It will keep you from slowing down and wasting precious energy when you hit an obstacle or challenge.

The EQ competency will help you maintain a sense of balance. Try not to be a perfectionist; as if you constantly dwell on the things that don't go exactly as planned, you'll get into a negative mindset. Working to stay positive and congratulating yourself occasionally is extremely necessary.

Focus on what goes right and not what goes wrong -We normally overlook the many things that went well during a given day, and give importance to that one thing that went wrong. So just switch this around and pass it on and you will feel more relaxed.

Every time somebody tells you something that didn't go well, counter with something that went well. This will help you build your self-esteem and resilience, and will positively affect those around you.

Find a way to combine self-nurturing and support with a great home business that would enable you to achieve that financial flexibility.

Surround yourself with as many positive situations as you can. If someone's really negative, that it's best to stay away from him or her.

Even while shopping, try finding a store where the clerks are smiling and helpful. There are many. Find the office supply store where they're really glad to have your business, and pay attention to you when you're shopping.

Most of the successful Internet businesses ventures have faced tremendous setbacks
and they have comeback only stronger. So don't give up... the initial stages are a bit hard.. Wishing you the best in your home business.


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Bindaas - whadde hell is it dude ?

Among the prominent new Indian words finding place in the dictionary are 'bindaas' (carefree), lehnga (an ankle-length skirt) and 'masala' (a varied mixture of elements) and ofcourse, the good ole curry...

Then, there are the 'bindaas babes' of Bollywood who dare to bare without a care. We shall keep that for a rainy day.....

Although the bindaas for a female sounds uhhhh... [pun intended], how would it sound when half of them wear a half lehnga....

'Bindaas' is also the trademark Mumbai street lingo...

Another good aspect of "Bindaas" is outlined below....

In India, when a man buys a condom across the counter, the retailer or the chemist whom he is buying it from, generally perceives.. that "This dude is gonna get laid.... Now what is wrong with that...

But the additional or added perception that follows is that the guy does not have a good character and that he could disrupt the chemist business as the other customers present could put off by the fact that a chemist is selling the big C


And to make it worse... post-purchase, 3 out of every 10 people present there assumes that he is gonna visit a "you-know-who" or to put it mildly [a sex worker.... actually like that term... but then again, this is Indiya... where else can you get work at sex [pun intended]

Anyway, if you think that was bad , visit here for some great translations...

But, this 'perception' was even worse earlier.... apparently market figures quote that in 2004... 46 per cent of onlookers would have thought likewise according to the three-year "Condom Bindaas Bol" Campaign, a joint effort between health tracker PSP-One, USAID, ICICI Bank and the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare. The campaign has just concluded, and the baseline (early 2004) and end line (early 2007) results were shared exclusively with HT.

The result... the 'consistent use of condoms among married men has increased by 12 percentage points, ie., to say from 32 per cent to 44 per cent, usage among men who have non-regular partners has gone up from 75 per cent to 80 per cent... [ooooh!...]

Bottom line... when the 'Bindaas' tag was displayed prominently as banners, several women were spotted buying condoms......Now this is real meaning "bindaas" dude.... forget the san-napkin [pun intended] and go for the condom....

Hats off to the team !!!

It would be interesting, if super markets also started selling, better still manufacturing them... Consider "Safeway Condoms" with lightening the load would be an interesting proposition.... please note that this is only a proposal.....

So how would one classify a female who is bindaas...

Apart from the physical expression these picture perfect models should have...

Sparkling Eyes.. from HONESTY

They should be....

Veggie, Vegan or Fruitarian...
Compassionate & Considerate. Does not use plastic, or something similar...
Have some amount of Grey Cells....that most of them lack and get away with being classified as Bindaas
Been to a lot of places and done a lot of things...
Husband and Kids - Obviously NOT a priority here...
Open to Alternative trends…
Has some form of a PERSONAL Definition... [askin for too much... but !!]

Now as an after-thought....

Edward de Bono hit the nail on the head when he wrote the book, 'I am Right, You are Wrong'.... what more better definition to a 'Bindaas Solution'....

Sony Camera Commercial [Banned Apparently]

Great Commercial. But apparently it appears to be banned.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

No justice

There was a man who really took care of his body.

He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles a day. One day, he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except his 'thingie' ...

So, he decided to do something about it....

He went to the beach, completely undressed himself and buried himself in the sand, except for his 'thingie,' which he left sticking out.

Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane.

Upon seeing the 'thingie' sticking up over the sand, she began to move it around with her cane.

Remarking to the other lady, "There's no justice in the world"

The other lady asked what she meant.

When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 50, I asked for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.

Now, I am 80 and they are growing wild on the beach and I'm too old to even squat !!!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Madonna, Britney and Christina Aguilerra

Britney, Madonna and Aguilerra - with due apologies

This is an old one but to be take in light humor.....okay here goes..... Due to a mix-up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilerra are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.

Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."

Not to be outdone, Britney ripped $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."

Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."

At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging from the celebs and couldn't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 100 million people happy".................

And that was the end of the conversation of Agulerra, Madonna and Britney

Strategy and timing

Strategy and timing are the Himalayas of marketing... the rest are the catskills...

Al Ries and Jack Trout

Surprising they are alive and kickin... used to be prophets while in college...

Just goes to show that the principles everywhere are the same... whatever method you use, the bottomline should be to sell or market..

Monday, May 14, 2007

Saying the right thing, at the right time

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose.. Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed... Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table... Darlin, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping....Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks "Son...what happened last night?"... Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT! .... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, you tart, I'm married !

Broken furniture $85.26
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Red Rose bud $3.00
Two Aspirins $0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless !

It is the same in marketing.... but only it is different people and different situations..... A lousy sales pitch when used at the correct moment, can have a much more effect than a high paid, advertising campaign...Likewise, a great sales pitch used at the wrong time can also have lousy results............ Some examples of marketing disasters, [although, nonetheless funny] are given below...

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Your First Time

It's your first time.

As you lie back your muscles tighten.

You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.

He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.

You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.

He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.

Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.

He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.

He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist.

After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled out .......

For those of you who had ''sex and orgasm'' in their minds - shame on you !!

Don't worry your time will come !

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Way to go dude......

Encima El tuyo ..... Vers le haut Du Vôtre ......... Вверх по Твоему

You don't fool with kids these days ... It’s definitely a screwed up world......

Bottomline .... ‹^›‹(•¿•)›‹^›

Heineken - It's all about the beer !

Was checkin out paid to blog opportunities a few days, when I came across this CREAMaid opportunity, where you get paid [can you imagine, paid !] for sharing your experience on Heineken..

What more do you want ?

Now going to a bar and having Heineken.... are you kiddin.. tell us somethin new.. somethin we don't do regularly !

Then it came to me, what is there to actually say about Heineken !

Whatever I am going to write would never convince the strong brand relationship Heineken has with its consumers

So a single picture is better than a 100 words

Being a hard-core Heineken fan myself.... hope you understand.

Viva le Heineken and thanks CREAMaid

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Quick thinking

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston .. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350 .. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them," the man complains ... "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains the man again .. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies ... No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay .. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager ... The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, this check is only made out for $50."..... "That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife." .. "But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.. Well, too bad," the man replies... "She was here and you could have."

Quick thinking..... Similarly in marketing, it is those who can come up with such glib, make it to the top !

Saturday, May 5, 2007


An ugly guy walks into a bar and asks a sexy blonde hottie whether if he can buy her a drink.

She shouts, No, I won’t sleep with you, you disgusting pig.

A few minutes later, she apologizes, explaining that she’s a psychology student researching humiliation.

He shouts back, What do you mean you’ll do an oral for an extra $20 ??

Friday, May 4, 2007

Coitus Interruptus

Now you know, why they say never believe an Adman !

Why, some advertising companies even have names supporting their cause - SUCTCHI AND SUTCHI !

Yes, we believe you.

You are too sexy for us

Without your bull, where would we plain mortals be !

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Cunstruction Problems

A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.

So he spots another colleague on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He takes his left index finger.. and points to his eye meaning "I", then points to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the f**k is your problem!!! All I needed was a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"