The capitalist fat cat has long held a treasured place in popular demonology. Russians used to deride casino capitalism before showing us how to do it really well - by playing with the house's money. British trade union leaders castigated the City of London even as it created jobs at many times the pace at which their own mulish Luddism destroyed them.
Even for Americans - perhaps especially for Americans - Wall Street has been the target of popular revulsion and caricature almost since the first banks opened in Lower Manhattan. From William Jennings Bryan's philippics against the “idle holders of idle capital” in 1896 to Michael Douglas' portrayal of Gordon “Greed is Good” Gekko almost a century later, the susceptibility of the American public consciousness to the perceived cupidity and selfishness of Wall Street is every bit as acute as that of any European.
When crises unfold and the idlers and greed merchants get their comeuppance, the instant reaction is a mix of anger and Schadenfreude. The public experiences a sort of Kübler-Ross style progression through the various stages of socialist grievance.
The inner Marxist rather enjoys the spectacle of rich bankers becoming victims of their own unsustainable excess, proof of the inevitable internal contradictions of the market process. Picture editors never tire of those photographs of some trader holding his head in his hands as the numbers on the screen behind him bleed red.
Then the inner Stalinist takes over and rages at the injustice of it all. How dare these Masters of the Universe with their Porsches and their incomprehensible gobbledygook bring us to our knees? Annihilate the options traders!
Finally, we get to the inner Leninist, surveying the economic wreckage and calmly insisting that Something Must be Done.
That is roughly where we are now in the Great Panic of 2008.
There is a compelling narrative that spans the transatlantic political space - all the way from Barack Obama through John McCain to the Labour Left and, for all I know, the British Conservatives too.
We got into this mess, it says, because we unleashed the forces of free-market capitalism. This is what you get when you let the animal spirits loose. We bought too willingly into all that 1980s ideology of deregulation and the primacy of markets. Government bowed out of the business of supervising and constraining the financial system. We need to realise the destructive folly of free markets and put the Government back in control. It's a convenient and compelling narrative but is deeply flawed both in its historical account and its prescription.
First, the mess we're in cannot simply be ascribed to an insufficiency of government intervention. It's true that some better regulation would have helped but in important respects there has been way too much government intervention.
Take the US mortgage market at the heart of the present crisis. One of the largest sources of the problem is the role of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the giant US mortgage companies, government-sponsored enterprises that hold or guarantee almost half of America's $11 trillion mortgage market. They facilitated much of the explosion of the mortgage-backed securities market in the US and they did so because investors always believed that these oddly public-private hybrids carried an implicit government guarantee. (They were right.)
Critics gave warning repeatedly that if they were not scaled back they would threaten the stability of the whole financial system. (They were right again.)
The idea that these two collapsing behemoths somehow represent a failure of the market is about as plausible as saying that the collapsing boxer falling to his knees somehow represents a failure of the canvas.
Nor is it the case, as capitalism's critics maintain, that the regulatory structure has been dismantled. On the contrary, the US system of financial regulation has been built up over the years into a staggering skyscraper of rules and institutions that induce a sort of governing paralysis.
The regulatory framework is not too small. It is a mess, multiplicated in many areas among different state and federal agencies, and completely lacking in others. It is developed on a base that was created in the 1930s to deal with a wholly different financial environment. Most of those still extant rules that deal, for example with commercial banks, are redundant, while others that should be in place to deal, for example, with investment banks, are not there.
Or take the UK model - please, take the UK model. Tripartite regulation between the Treasury, the Bank of England and the Financial Services Authority was a work of genius - until someone rediscovered the old truth that when you have three people in charge of something no one is really in charge. Again this is not lack of regulation. It is the wrong sort of regulation, misdirected, incoherent and in some respects, excessive.
Or consider another example in which tight regulation is actually hampering economic recovery. Under international financial rules, banks are required to maintain a core capital base as a proportion of their total balance sheet. But in a financial catastrophe, as capital dwindles and assets become riskier, those rules require banks to cut their lending and investments, driving deeper into the vicious circle
The need is not for more regulation but for more relevant regulation, a more intelligent and targeted role for government that acknowledges the essential wisdom of markets but acts to protect the weakest from their excesses.
That might certainly mean a more active role for supervisors in examining bank balance sheets. But it is more likely to require not aggressive government intervention, but simply the insistence on better provision of information to avoid the chaos created in the past year because investors didn't have a clue about the quality of many of the assets that they held. And in some respects it might even require less public involvement in, or restraint of, the economy: for example, the dismantling of the US mortgage giants and perhaps less onerous restrictions on bank lending when the economy is contracting.
We certainly don't need a system based on the wholly implausible proposition that, in the end, government knows better than people. We should resist at all costs the historically challenged claim that politicians, or the officials they appoint, can possibly know better than free, liquid, well-informed markets in which, every day, hundreds of millions of people put their own money on the line to choose their own future.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Does London Have the Best Indian Food ?
Better quality meat, fish and vegetables could very well put London ahead of any Indian city when it comes to high end Indian food. World renowned London-based Michelin star Indian chef, Atul Kochhar and the owner of the Benares Restaurant, a high-end Indian restaurant in the exclusive Mayfair area of central London said India needed to reform and reorganise its farming industry, so consumers and caterers had reliable access to fresh produce.
Watch out - be warned! Chefs in India could lose their cutting edge in preparing top quality Indian food to chefs in London.
Atul Kochhar is one of the few Michelin star Indian chefs. He warns that if India's farming industry is not reorganised - London will become the center of Indian cuisine in terms of quality.
It's not because of lack of good skill, or lack of good spices. It's purely because of lack of excellent ingredients. India doesn't have excellent ingredients in terms of fish, meat or vegetables, he says. Back in 2001 Kochhar became the first Indian chef to be awarded the highly coveted Michelin star. Kochhar is looking to return to India and open up restaurants. His biggest worry however is getting a regular supply fresh food.
The lamb farming has to be niche. The vegetable farming has to be amazingly good. All those things are there, but there is no organized effort in India he says
It wont be surprising that more Indian chefs will be awarded Michelin stars in the near future as the reputation of the Indian chefs in the city are growing.
There are more people conducting business with Indians. They are trying to understand the culture and cuisine better now and hence the recognition.
Kochhar says the corner curry house which churns unique English scorchers such as 'chicken tikka masala', or 'balti chicken' - are on the decline. It in fact, was never an authentic cuisine. I call that British Indian food - because that's how brutish people liked it. That's why they were cooking it and thats why it went on for so long. The curry house will always be part of the British landscape
Incredibly there are 1000 plus new restaurants that open every year in Britain, more than any other kind of business, unfortunately around 850 to 900 close within a year. It’s a dream that every couple has entertained. Why? Because secretly they all think that it’s so simple and that they could do it.
They think that as they know the mindset and what people like to eat, what they only wanted is the money and the opportunity.
Friday, October 3, 2008
'Shank town' brings in the cleaners to drive crime off the streets
A neighbourhood nicknamed "shank town" after a spate of stabbings is to adopt New York's approach to fighting crime.
Enfield council is using the "broken windows" theory in Edmonton in the hope it will halt killings, robberies and anti-social behaviour.
Scores of street cleaners, jet washers and environmental crime officers are carrying out a deep clean and fining litterers this week as part of the drive to make the area safer.
The thinking behind their strategy is that a problem ignored, even one as apparently minor as a broken window, sends out a signal that disorder is tolerated - encouraging more serious crime and vandalism.
Enfield council is using the "broken windows" theory in Edmonton in the hope it will halt killings, robberies and anti-social behaviour.
Scores of street cleaners, jet washers and environmental crime officers are carrying out a deep clean and fining litterers this week as part of the drive to make the area safer.
The thinking behind their strategy is that a problem ignored, even one as apparently minor as a broken window, sends out a signal that disorder is tolerated - encouraging more serious crime and vandalism.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
And they say the US Exported More !
WASHINGTON - The U.S. trade deficit rose to the highest level in three months, with record oil prices and a flood of toys and other imports from China swamping a solid gain in American exports.
The Commerce Department reported Wednesday that the deficit for October increased to $57.8 billion, the highest level since July and 1.2 percent above the September imbalance.
The widening deficit was slightly worse than expected and occurred even though U.S. exports of goods and services rose for an eighth consecutive month, climbing 0.9 percent to an all-time high of $141.7 billion. This gain was offset by a 1 percent rise in imports to $199.5 billion, also a record, as a surge in global oil prices sent America’s oil bill soaring.
The deficit with China jumped 9.1 percent to $25.9 billion, a record for a single month.
The rise reflected record imports from China, led by large gains in shipments of toys and games and televisions as retailers stocked their shelves for Christmas. The demand for Chinese imports is still surging despite a string of high-profile recalls of Chinese products from toys with lead paint to defective tires and tainted toothpaste.
So far this year, the trade imbalance with China is running at an annual rate of $256 billion, putting it on track to surpass last year’s $233 billion deficit, which had been the highest deficit ever recorded with a single country.
Those record deficits have triggered a backlash in Congress, with dozens of bills introduced seeking to penalize China for what critics see as unfair trade practices contributing to the loss of 3 million U.S. manufacturing jobs since 2000.
Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and other members of President Bush’s Cabinet were meeting with their counterparts in China this week for the third round of talks aimed at defusing trade tensions. While minor agreements were expected, there was likely to be no breakthrough on the biggest point of contention, China’s undervalued currency. The currency disparity makes Chinese products cheaper in America and U.S. goods more expensive in China.
Some of the legislation in Congress seeks to impose penalty tariffs on Chinese products unless China allows its currency to rise in value against the dollar at a faster rate. But Vice Premier Wu Yi, the leader of the Chinese delegation, delivered a blunt threat of Chinese retaliation should the United States impose economic penalties on China.
“I need to be quite candid about this: If these bills are adopted, they will severely undermine U.S. business ties with China,” Wu said at the opening of the talks with Paulson on Wednesday.
The gain in exports was led by increased shipments of civilian aircraft, industrial equipment and telecommunications products. U.S. manufacturers have been benefiting from a fall in the value of the dollar against many other currencies including the European euro. The weaker dollar makes U.S. goods cheaper on overseas markets while making foreign products more expensive for U.S. consumers.
So far this year, the U.S. trade deficit is running at an annual rate of $704 billion, down by 7.1 percent from last year’s $758.5 billion, putting the country on track to see the first narrowing of the deficit after five consecutive years of record imbalances.
The import gain was led by an 8.3 percent jump in the foreign oil bill with petroleum imports setting an all-time high of $29.6 billion in October. The average price of a barrel of imported crude also set a record at $72.49 per barrel. The oil bill is expected to rise even more in coming months, reflecting the fact that prices jumped to near $100 per barrel at their peak this fall.
The Commerce Department reported Wednesday that the deficit for October increased to $57.8 billion, the highest level since July and 1.2 percent above the September imbalance.
The widening deficit was slightly worse than expected and occurred even though U.S. exports of goods and services rose for an eighth consecutive month, climbing 0.9 percent to an all-time high of $141.7 billion. This gain was offset by a 1 percent rise in imports to $199.5 billion, also a record, as a surge in global oil prices sent America’s oil bill soaring.
The deficit with China jumped 9.1 percent to $25.9 billion, a record for a single month.
The rise reflected record imports from China, led by large gains in shipments of toys and games and televisions as retailers stocked their shelves for Christmas. The demand for Chinese imports is still surging despite a string of high-profile recalls of Chinese products from toys with lead paint to defective tires and tainted toothpaste.
So far this year, the trade imbalance with China is running at an annual rate of $256 billion, putting it on track to surpass last year’s $233 billion deficit, which had been the highest deficit ever recorded with a single country.
Those record deficits have triggered a backlash in Congress, with dozens of bills introduced seeking to penalize China for what critics see as unfair trade practices contributing to the loss of 3 million U.S. manufacturing jobs since 2000.
Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and other members of President Bush’s Cabinet were meeting with their counterparts in China this week for the third round of talks aimed at defusing trade tensions. While minor agreements were expected, there was likely to be no breakthrough on the biggest point of contention, China’s undervalued currency. The currency disparity makes Chinese products cheaper in America and U.S. goods more expensive in China.
Some of the legislation in Congress seeks to impose penalty tariffs on Chinese products unless China allows its currency to rise in value against the dollar at a faster rate. But Vice Premier Wu Yi, the leader of the Chinese delegation, delivered a blunt threat of Chinese retaliation should the United States impose economic penalties on China.
“I need to be quite candid about this: If these bills are adopted, they will severely undermine U.S. business ties with China,” Wu said at the opening of the talks with Paulson on Wednesday.
The gain in exports was led by increased shipments of civilian aircraft, industrial equipment and telecommunications products. U.S. manufacturers have been benefiting from a fall in the value of the dollar against many other currencies including the European euro. The weaker dollar makes U.S. goods cheaper on overseas markets while making foreign products more expensive for U.S. consumers.
So far this year, the U.S. trade deficit is running at an annual rate of $704 billion, down by 7.1 percent from last year’s $758.5 billion, putting the country on track to see the first narrowing of the deficit after five consecutive years of record imbalances.
The import gain was led by an 8.3 percent jump in the foreign oil bill with petroleum imports setting an all-time high of $29.6 billion in October. The average price of a barrel of imported crude also set a record at $72.49 per barrel. The oil bill is expected to rise even more in coming months, reflecting the fact that prices jumped to near $100 per barrel at their peak this fall.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
The Rise Of The Indian Thought Leaders
The late Sumantra Ghoshal had observed sometime back that a very different management philosophy is arising and will become dominant – the purpose, process, people philosophy.
We are moving beyond strategy to purpose; beyond structure to process; and beyond systems to people.
This will shift the basic doctrine of shareholder capitalism, and moderate it so that if people are adding the most value then people will increasingly have to be seen as investors not as employees. Shareholders invest money and expect a return on their money and expect capital growth. People will be seen in the same way. So they will invest their human capital in the company, will expect a return on it, and expect growth of that capital.
Ghoshals’ legacy lives on.
He mentored and then extensively co-authored with Harvard’s Nitin Nohria, and inspired his students toward a more holistic view of management and leadership and how it is linked to broader society.
Nitin and I have been co-authoring papers and cases on management as a profession, says Rakesh Khurana, an Associate Professor of Management Harvard Business School
A profession, not simply in a technical sense, but in a normative sense which considers thinks like responsibility, mutual respect for the various constituents in a business enterprise, such as employees and customers, and accountability.
Ideas which were catalyzed through discussions with Sumantra. Indeed, my current research and forthcoming book project is on management as a profession as developed through a sociological analysis of elite, U.S. business schools.
In the increasingly global world of business thinking, an American Spring could be followed by an Indian Summer.
A passage to India
Some US companies appear to have recognized the shifting intellectual tide. A number now regularly second people to India, reversing the traditional flow of corporate knowledge. Infosys, for example, runs an intern program in which Americans go to work in India. U.S. companies are also becoming more attuned to Indian culture.
Intel is not alone. Other high-tech firms including Adaptec, AMD, Intuit, and Rockwell Automation also offer Indian cultural lessons to their employees. Unlike some diversity training, which is aimed at avoiding law suits, Indian cultural programs are specifically aimed at boosting performance. Some companies, like chipmaker AMD, have gone further. For its Indian Global Immersion Program, the firm flew teams of Indian workers – at $17,000 per person – to Sunnyvale, California, and Austin, Texas, for a month of cultural training with US managers.
Some US companies appear to have recognized the shifting intellectual tide. A number now regularly second people to India, reversing the traditional flow of corporate knowledge. Infosys, for example, runs an intern program in which Americans go to work in India. U.S. companies are also becoming more attuned to Indian culture.
Courtesy : The book by Stuart Crainer And Des Dearlove
Stuart Crainer and Des Dearlove are the founders of Suntop Media. Their " Thinkers 50 " list of most influential global business thought-leaders is a definitive bi-annual guide with endorsement from European Foundation of Management Development (EFMD).
We are moving beyond strategy to purpose; beyond structure to process; and beyond systems to people.
This will shift the basic doctrine of shareholder capitalism, and moderate it so that if people are adding the most value then people will increasingly have to be seen as investors not as employees. Shareholders invest money and expect a return on their money and expect capital growth. People will be seen in the same way. So they will invest their human capital in the company, will expect a return on it, and expect growth of that capital.
Ghoshals’ legacy lives on.
He mentored and then extensively co-authored with Harvard’s Nitin Nohria, and inspired his students toward a more holistic view of management and leadership and how it is linked to broader society.
Nitin and I have been co-authoring papers and cases on management as a profession, says Rakesh Khurana, an Associate Professor of Management Harvard Business School
A profession, not simply in a technical sense, but in a normative sense which considers thinks like responsibility, mutual respect for the various constituents in a business enterprise, such as employees and customers, and accountability.
Ideas which were catalyzed through discussions with Sumantra. Indeed, my current research and forthcoming book project is on management as a profession as developed through a sociological analysis of elite, U.S. business schools.
In the increasingly global world of business thinking, an American Spring could be followed by an Indian Summer.
A passage to India
Some US companies appear to have recognized the shifting intellectual tide. A number now regularly second people to India, reversing the traditional flow of corporate knowledge. Infosys, for example, runs an intern program in which Americans go to work in India. U.S. companies are also becoming more attuned to Indian culture.
Intel is not alone. Other high-tech firms including Adaptec, AMD, Intuit, and Rockwell Automation also offer Indian cultural lessons to their employees. Unlike some diversity training, which is aimed at avoiding law suits, Indian cultural programs are specifically aimed at boosting performance. Some companies, like chipmaker AMD, have gone further. For its Indian Global Immersion Program, the firm flew teams of Indian workers – at $17,000 per person – to Sunnyvale, California, and Austin, Texas, for a month of cultural training with US managers.
Some US companies appear to have recognized the shifting intellectual tide. A number now regularly second people to India, reversing the traditional flow of corporate knowledge. Infosys, for example, runs an intern program in which Americans go to work in India. U.S. companies are also becoming more attuned to Indian culture.
Courtesy : The book by Stuart Crainer And Des Dearlove
Stuart Crainer and Des Dearlove are the founders of Suntop Media. Their " Thinkers 50 " list of most influential global business thought-leaders is a definitive bi-annual guide with endorsement from European Foundation of Management Development (EFMD).
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Corporate Lesson
A pastor, while driving home happened to pass a nun, to whom he offered a lift. The nun got in and sat down and crossed her legs to expose a pretty leg.
The priest having lost his concentration couldn’t take it no more and placed his hand on the leg. The holy woman didn’t say a word but asked the pastor to remember psalm 129.
Embarassed, the pastor apologized and dropped the nun at her convent and went inside the church to look up psalm 129, which indicated "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory"
The moral :
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!
The priest having lost his concentration couldn’t take it no more and placed his hand on the leg. The holy woman didn’t say a word but asked the pastor to remember psalm 129.
Embarassed, the pastor apologized and dropped the nun at her convent and went inside the church to look up psalm 129, which indicated "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory"
The moral :
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Corporate Communication
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Q: What can we learn from this?
A1: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
A2: Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
A3: Most importantly: when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Q: What can we learn from this?
A1: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
A2: Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
A3: Most importantly: when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.
What is this nothing much but all okay ?
Basically this blog has been conceived in the common, but misleading principle of nihilism..... the 'belief-in-nothing'., ie., to say a "firm belief in something for which there is no proof... Now as more and more people are shifting their mindset on nihilistic principles, something ought to be done... but then again nobody cares [pun intended.... So.... what's all this fuss about.. Nothing much... all okay.....
Please note that this ought to be taken in the nature it is represented, ie., to say, don't take it seriously, but laugh at the humor implied.. For more info.... PRESS HERE
Please note that this ought to be taken in the nature it is represented, ie., to say, don't take it seriously, but laugh at the humor implied.. For more info.... PRESS HERE
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Join the technorati train and increase your ranking
The technorati train was created to give bloggers higher technorati rankings.
How do you participate?
Simply copy the list below onto your blog, and favourite as many blogs as you wish from them. You can also download the html for the list - HERE
After downloading, just utilize the source facility in your Browser and copy the contents between the [body] to [/body] sections and paste it in your blog. A little bit of technical know would be of great help.
This blog piece is courtesy of Marketing Affiliater - Fave the Site
His other blogs include....
Insanitary Media Behavior - Fave the Site
Pay Me To Blog For You - Fave the Site
Nothing Much But All Okay - Fave the Site
Myspace Blog - Fave the Site
Make Money Blogging - Fave the Site
LIST OF BLOGS
Net Business Blog - Fave the Site
Career Ramblings - Fave the Site
Ramblings from the Marginalized - Fave the Site
http://juliocstryfe1.nutang.com/ - Fave the Site
Everyday Weekender - Fave the Site
612 to apocalypse - Fave the Site
Bobs [ReformatThis] - Fave the Site
JCM´s blog - Fave the Site
Armen’s Blog - Fave the Site
Gary Lee - Fave the Site
Dosh Dosh - Fave the Site
Nate Whitehill - Fave the Site
Ms. Danielle - Fave the Site
Jeff Kee - Fave the Site
Scribble on the Wall
- Fave the Site
Jimi Morrisons Head - Fave the Site
Jon Lee - Fave the Site
Samanathon - Fave the Site
Eat Drink & Be Merry - Fave the Site
The Man of Silver - Fave the Site
Hannes Johnson - Fave the Site
My Dandelion Patch - Fave the Site
Nathan Drach - Fave the Site
SiteLogic - Fave the Site
Julies Journal - Fave the Site
Stephen Fung - Fave the Site
Ed Lau - Fave the Site
QMusings - Fave the Site
How do you participate?
Simply copy the list below onto your blog, and favourite as many blogs as you wish from them. You can also download the html for the list - HERE
After downloading, just utilize the source facility in your Browser and copy the contents between the [body] to [/body] sections and paste it in your blog. A little bit of technical know would be of great help.
This blog piece is courtesy of Marketing Affiliater - Fave the Site
His other blogs include....
Insanitary Media Behavior - Fave the Site
Pay Me To Blog For You - Fave the Site
Nothing Much But All Okay - Fave the Site
Myspace Blog - Fave the Site
Make Money Blogging - Fave the Site
LIST OF BLOGS
Net Business Blog - Fave the Site
Career Ramblings - Fave the Site
Ramblings from the Marginalized - Fave the Site
http://juliocstryfe1.nutang.com/ - Fave the Site
Everyday Weekender - Fave the Site
612 to apocalypse - Fave the Site
Bobs [ReformatThis] - Fave the Site
JCM´s blog - Fave the Site
Armen’s Blog - Fave the Site
Gary Lee - Fave the Site
Dosh Dosh - Fave the Site
Nate Whitehill - Fave the Site
Ms. Danielle - Fave the Site
Jeff Kee - Fave the Site
Scribble on the Wall
- Fave the Site
Jimi Morrisons Head - Fave the Site
Jon Lee - Fave the Site
Samanathon - Fave the Site
Eat Drink & Be Merry - Fave the Site
The Man of Silver - Fave the Site
Hannes Johnson - Fave the Site
My Dandelion Patch - Fave the Site
Nathan Drach - Fave the Site
SiteLogic - Fave the Site
Julies Journal - Fave the Site
Stephen Fung - Fave the Site
Ed Lau - Fave the Site
QMusings - Fave the Site
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Always be well informed in your job
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road; he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great opportunities!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Plastic Surgery Miracles
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat.
Now he's President of the United States."
One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat.
Now he's President of the United States."
Monday, April 14, 2008
Nothing like a woman scorned
If you have any doubts, check this out........ especially those going through bad relationships....
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,crates, and suitcases.
On the second day she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table. candle light,put on some soft background music and feasted on a lb of shrimp,a jar of caviar,and a bottle of chardonnay.
when she had finished,she went into each and every room and deposited a few half eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods.
She cleaned up the kitchen and left.....
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly the house began to smell.....
They tried everything,cleaning,mopping,and airing the place out.
vents were checked for dead rodents and the carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,during which they had to move out for a few days.
Nothing worked....
People stopped coming over to visit....
Repair men refused to work in the house....
The maid quit....
Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move....
A month later,even though they cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out,and eventually the local realitors refused to take their calls.
Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The x wife called her x husband, and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house...
She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting the house back
Knowing his wife had no idea how bad the smell was,he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed,and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paper work.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smilimg as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.............................
So be careful, there is nothing like a woman scorned.....
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,crates, and suitcases.
On the second day she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table. candle light,put on some soft background music and feasted on a lb of shrimp,a jar of caviar,and a bottle of chardonnay.
when she had finished,she went into each and every room and deposited a few half eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods.
She cleaned up the kitchen and left.....
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly the house began to smell.....
They tried everything,cleaning,mopping,and airing the place out.
vents were checked for dead rodents and the carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,during which they had to move out for a few days.
Nothing worked....
People stopped coming over to visit....
Repair men refused to work in the house....
The maid quit....
Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move....
A month later,even though they cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out,and eventually the local realitors refused to take their calls.
Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The x wife called her x husband, and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house...
She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting the house back
Knowing his wife had no idea how bad the smell was,he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed,and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paper work.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smilimg as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.............................
So be careful, there is nothing like a woman scorned.....
Saturday, April 12, 2008
5 Ways to Keep Visitors Coming Back
A lot of successful websites depend on returning visitors to account for a major part of their traffic. Returning visitors are easier to convert into paying customers because the more often they return to a site, the more trust they have in that site. The credibility issue just melts away. Hence, keep your visitors coming back to your site with the following methods:
1) Start a forum, chatroom or shoutbox
When you start a forum, chatroom or shoutbox, you are providing your visitors a place to voice their opinions and interact with their peers -- all of them are visitors of your site. As conversations build up, a sense of community will also follow and your visitors will come back to your site almost religiously every day.
2) Start a web log (blog)
Keep an online journal, or more commonly known as a blog, on your site and keep it updated with latest news about yourself. Human beings are curious creatures and they will keep their eyes glued to the monitor if you post fresh news frequently. You will also build up your credibility as you are proving to them that there is also a real life person behind the website.
3) Carry out polls or surveys
Polls and surveys are other forms of interaction that you should definitely consider adding to your site. They provide a quick way for visitors to voice their opinions and to get involved in your website. Be sure to publish polls or surveys that are strongly relevant to the target market of your website to keep them interested to find out about the results.
4) Hold puzzles, quizzes and games
Just imagine how many office workers procrastinate at work every day, and you will be able to gauge how many people will keep visiting your site if you provide a very interesting or addicting way of entertainment. You can also hold competitions to award the high score winner to keep people trying continuously to earn the prize.
5) Update frequently with fresh content
Update your site frequently with fresh content so that every time your visitors come back, they will have something to read on your site. This is the most widely known and most effective method of attracting returning visitors, but this is also the least carried out one because of the laziness of webmasters. No one will want to browse a site that looks the same over ten years, so keep your site updated with fresh bites!
1) Start a forum, chatroom or shoutbox
When you start a forum, chatroom or shoutbox, you are providing your visitors a place to voice their opinions and interact with their peers -- all of them are visitors of your site. As conversations build up, a sense of community will also follow and your visitors will come back to your site almost religiously every day.
2) Start a web log (blog)
Keep an online journal, or more commonly known as a blog, on your site and keep it updated with latest news about yourself. Human beings are curious creatures and they will keep their eyes glued to the monitor if you post fresh news frequently. You will also build up your credibility as you are proving to them that there is also a real life person behind the website.
3) Carry out polls or surveys
Polls and surveys are other forms of interaction that you should definitely consider adding to your site. They provide a quick way for visitors to voice their opinions and to get involved in your website. Be sure to publish polls or surveys that are strongly relevant to the target market of your website to keep them interested to find out about the results.
4) Hold puzzles, quizzes and games
Just imagine how many office workers procrastinate at work every day, and you will be able to gauge how many people will keep visiting your site if you provide a very interesting or addicting way of entertainment. You can also hold competitions to award the high score winner to keep people trying continuously to earn the prize.
5) Update frequently with fresh content
Update your site frequently with fresh content so that every time your visitors come back, they will have something to read on your site. This is the most widely known and most effective method of attracting returning visitors, but this is also the least carried out one because of the laziness of webmasters. No one will want to browse a site that looks the same over ten years, so keep your site updated with fresh bites!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The Show Must Go On
There seems to be a common misperception about TV newsreaders.
In fact, there are two.
The general public seem to think they're the thing, the be all and end all.
However, in the industry they're the butt of everyone's jokes and teased for being 'just a pretty face' [off the record]
But then........ is that or isn't that true ?
To put this in detail, you ought to visit this url : http://indiannewsreaders.blogspot.com/
It just indicates how much the image level has an influence on the viewer's mind. Sometimes, he has to put sticky-pads on the bottom so as to focus his interests elsewhere. Thanks to the stock-market ticker running down below... it reduces the image influence a lot...
Please note I have no links to that website and like all others, it is just another site expressing itself.
Besides, am just starting on this blog, and perhaps may be a bit too harsh on opinions....
Ofcourse, then there are exceptions.....
So apologies, if any of you feel criticised for being overly stiff, unduly self-conscious, rude, giggly, just a pretty face, explicit, sexy [now that' a thought], ofcourse not probing enough, and trying to make cheeky and absolute infantile questions etc....
But then the show must go on...
It may sound cliched, but I am given to understand that newsreading's not as easy as it seems [now isn't that a thought] and while my tendencies are more off-screen, its certainly useful to know what's going through the news-readers mind.. What do you say ?
Infact, there are also many newsreaders available throughout the Internet.
To know which ones are available to gain access to newsgroups and Usenet, one may simple visit www.newsreaders.info, a website that provides information about newsreaders, giving recommendations as to which ones are good for getting updated using newsgroups.
For news aggregators, one may visit www.newsonfeeds.com/faq/aggregators to see which programs allow users to get feeds.
Newsreaders are definitely great tools to keep people in the know. The convenience and efficiency they provide make it appear as if news is delivered directly to you.
In fact, there are two.
The general public seem to think they're the thing, the be all and end all.
However, in the industry they're the butt of everyone's jokes and teased for being 'just a pretty face' [off the record]
But then........ is that or isn't that true ?
To put this in detail, you ought to visit this url : http://indiannewsreaders.blogspot.com/
It just indicates how much the image level has an influence on the viewer's mind. Sometimes, he has to put sticky-pads on the bottom so as to focus his interests elsewhere. Thanks to the stock-market ticker running down below... it reduces the image influence a lot...
Please note I have no links to that website and like all others, it is just another site expressing itself.
Besides, am just starting on this blog, and perhaps may be a bit too harsh on opinions....
Ofcourse, then there are exceptions.....
So apologies, if any of you feel criticised for being overly stiff, unduly self-conscious, rude, giggly, just a pretty face, explicit, sexy [now that' a thought], ofcourse not probing enough, and trying to make cheeky and absolute infantile questions etc....
But then the show must go on...
It may sound cliched, but I am given to understand that newsreading's not as easy as it seems [now isn't that a thought] and while my tendencies are more off-screen, its certainly useful to know what's going through the news-readers mind.. What do you say ?
Infact, there are also many newsreaders available throughout the Internet.
To know which ones are available to gain access to newsgroups and Usenet, one may simple visit www.newsreaders.info, a website that provides information about newsreaders, giving recommendations as to which ones are good for getting updated using newsgroups.
For news aggregators, one may visit www.newsonfeeds.com/faq/aggregators to see which programs allow users to get feeds.
Newsreaders are definitely great tools to keep people in the know. The convenience and efficiency they provide make it appear as if news is delivered directly to you.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Establishing Online Dating Relationships: Safety First
Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.
Protect Your Computer
Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):
Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com
Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com
Protect Yourself
Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.
So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!
Protect Your Computer
Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):
Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com
Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com
Protect Yourself
Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.
So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Growing Online Dating Relationships
Just like ordinary relationships, internet or online relationships need to be nurtured and be allowed to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.
1. Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.
2. Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.
3. Respect each others privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.
4. Make it a point to share each others online and offline fun times. Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area
Attend and nurture your online relationship. If you water it with care, you would be surprised to see it sprout and grow over time.
1. Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.
2. Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.
3. Respect each others privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.
4. Make it a point to share each others online and offline fun times. Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area
Attend and nurture your online relationship. If you water it with care, you would be surprised to see it sprout and grow over time.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
The preacher and the driver
After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed that a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than he.
"I don't understand," he complained to God. "I devoted my entire life to my congregation."
"Our policy here in heaven is to reward results," God explained. "Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?"
"Well," the minister had to admit, "some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time."
"Exactly," said God, "and when people rode in this man's taxi, they not only stayed wake, they even prayed.......
"I don't understand," he complained to God. "I devoted my entire life to my congregation."
"Our policy here in heaven is to reward results," God explained. "Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?"
"Well," the minister had to admit, "some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time."
"Exactly," said God, "and when people rode in this man's taxi, they not only stayed wake, they even prayed.......
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Don't ever try to cover your ass, when wrong
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
NOW --------
Enough of that crap . . .
The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
NOW --------
Enough of that crap . . .
The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
The Mallu's Way Of Thinking
A sardarji had placed an advert for candidates to select for a trip to the stars …in short, to outer space.
He was certain that the candidates would not make it back and hence was offering a high reward. Finally he short listed three candidates……A sardarj, a tamilian and of course a mallu…
The sard asked for 3L for the trip, but the Tamilian only 1L and the interviewer made a note of both... However, the Mallu, asked for 3L but offered the interviewer 1L as you know [a gift for his family] …The interviewer obviously selected the mallu.
The next day after the launch, he noted the Mallu hanging around the canteen. The interviewer was furious. He walked up to him and asked him, what the meaning of his presence was or why he didn’t go.
The Mallu told him not to worry and explained to him the details of the launch….. that is to say, he had paid the Tamilian 1L and had send him…..
Amen
He was certain that the candidates would not make it back and hence was offering a high reward. Finally he short listed three candidates……A sardarj, a tamilian and of course a mallu…
The sard asked for 3L for the trip, but the Tamilian only 1L and the interviewer made a note of both... However, the Mallu, asked for 3L but offered the interviewer 1L as you know [a gift for his family] …The interviewer obviously selected the mallu.
The next day after the launch, he noted the Mallu hanging around the canteen. The interviewer was furious. He walked up to him and asked him, what the meaning of his presence was or why he didn’t go.
The Mallu told him not to worry and explained to him the details of the launch….. that is to say, he had paid the Tamilian 1L and had send him…..
Amen
Thought For The Day
Donkey and Onion
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!
Sumthing to think about…..
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!
Sumthing to think about…..
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The policeman and the prostitute
A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area and asked for her profession to which she replied that she was a social engineer.
The Policeman inquired further and asked her to be specific..
To which she countered... I build and destroy erections !
The Policeman inquired further and asked her to be specific..
To which she countered... I build and destroy erections !
Procrastination and happiness
Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases, and its toll on success and happiness is heavy. If you wait until all the lights are "green" before you leave home, you'll never get started on your trip to the top.
As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect.
Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
If you're a car salesman, and someone says "This is a terrible car, I'm not buying it," it doesn't mean they hate you. They just don't like your product. I think that's a mistake a lot of people make.. they're so tied to their act that they take everything personally.
The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand.
They're full of eagerness, zest and productivity.
The old saying that [[[ success breeds success ]]] has something to it.
It's that feeling of confidence, that can banish negativity and procrastination and get you going the right way...
Jest a while
Sign in a pathology lab.....: It might be piss and shit for you, but it is bread and butter...for us..
As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect.
Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
If you're a car salesman, and someone says "This is a terrible car, I'm not buying it," it doesn't mean they hate you. They just don't like your product. I think that's a mistake a lot of people make.. they're so tied to their act that they take everything personally.
The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand.
They're full of eagerness, zest and productivity.
The old saying that [[[ success breeds success ]]] has something to it.
It's that feeling of confidence, that can banish negativity and procrastination and get you going the right way...
Jest a while
Sign in a pathology lab.....: It might be piss and shit for you, but it is bread and butter...for us..
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
An Indian boys' first day at school at US
Somethin for today........
It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrasekhar Subramaniam entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.
Very good.....she said
Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F*ck the Indians,"
"Who said that?" she demanded. Candrasekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks "All right.... Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrasekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little Sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted...........
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said,
"Oh shit, we're f*cked!" and..........
Chandrasekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005.......
It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrasekhar Subramaniam entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.
Very good.....she said
Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F*ck the Indians,"
"Who said that?" she demanded. Candrasekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks "All right.... Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrasekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little Sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted...........
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said,
"Oh shit, we're f*cked!" and..........
Chandrasekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005.......
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Relationship secrets
For those of you who are new to the scene, just remember.....
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
LASTLY.... It is very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
Wishin you well.......
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
LASTLY.... It is very, very important that these four women don't know each other.
Wishin you well.......
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Cows & Politics Explained
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute..drives you nuts!
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute..drives you nuts!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Political Humor - Does This Ring A Bell ?
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young (hens), called “pullets”, and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went promptly into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer’s favorite rooster was old G. W. Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! John went to investigate.
The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result: The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making; who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.......
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went promptly into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer’s favorite rooster was old G. W. Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! John went to investigate.
The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result: The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making; who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.......
Sunday, March 9, 2008
First day in MNC
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Good" replies the trainee and puts down the phone.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Good" replies the trainee and puts down the phone.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Sri Lanka government to bring a national media policy
The Sri Lankan government is to bring a national media policy soon, Minister of Mass Media and Information, Anura Priyadharsana Yapa said yesterday.
Minster Yapa said that the Cabinet approved a special committee appointed by him recently to fulfill a long-felt need of the media industry in the country.
"The main purpose to create a responsible media culture in the country," the Minister said.
The 22-member committee comprising journalists, academics and professionals in the media sector is tasked to facilitate the creation of a socially viable and ethical media culture in Sri Lanka, while ensuring media freedom, the Minister said.
Media groups however view the new policy as another restriction on the press freedom. Notable media groups in the country criticized the new policy saying that the government instead needs to create a free media culture.
Minster Yapa said that the Cabinet approved a special committee appointed by him recently to fulfill a long-felt need of the media industry in the country.
"The main purpose to create a responsible media culture in the country," the Minister said.
The 22-member committee comprising journalists, academics and professionals in the media sector is tasked to facilitate the creation of a socially viable and ethical media culture in Sri Lanka, while ensuring media freedom, the Minister said.
Media groups however view the new policy as another restriction on the press freedom. Notable media groups in the country criticized the new policy saying that the government instead needs to create a free media culture.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Logic
Zailsingh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.
Rajiv: Zailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.
Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
Zailsingh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Zail: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Zail: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta: Please, give me an example.
Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta: NO, I don't.
Zail: Saala HOMO!!!
Rajiv: Zailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.
Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
Zailsingh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Zail: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Zail: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta: Please, give me an example.
Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta: NO, I don't.
Zail: Saala HOMO!!!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,OKAY!
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,OKAY!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Our rosy future, according to Freeman Dyson
Climate change is nothing to worry about, says the eminent physicist. Let's celebrate genetic engineering and our ability to design a new world of plants and creatures.
In his new collection of essays, "A Many-Colored Glass," renowned physicist Freeman Dyson turns his thoughts to do-it-yourself biotech and breeding one's own pet lizard, the fallacies of global warming science, science fiction (with a tip of the hat to recently departed Madeleine L'Engle) and the importance of biology to the future of religion.
To Dyson, a deeper understanding of the human brain means a better understanding of theology and perhaps more tolerance for those with different beliefs.
Such broad-spectrum thinking, particularly for a scientist, usually puts you in one of two camps: quack or genius. Dyson has been called both. Yet his penchant for challenging conventional wisdom is matched by a sense of humor, a necessary attribute for any scientist who has seen seven decades' worth of scientific hits and flops -- some of them his own.
In the science world, Dyson is best known for unifying the three versions of quantum electrodynamics invented by Julian Schwinger, Shinichiro Tomonaga and his friend and colleague Richard Feynman. But it's his broader writings on nuclear weapons, the science of immortality and the expectation of extraterrestrial intelligence that have captured the public.
Dyson is quick to remind readers that he's a scientist, not a soothsayer. He has said that "it is better to be wrong than to be vague" and has certainly suffered the former rather than the latter. Recalling his advice to a young Francis Crick to stick with physics rather than waste his time in biology, Dyson quips, "When I was a young and arrogant physicist, I tried to predict the future of physics and biology. Even a smart 22-year-old is not a reliable guide to the future of science. And the 22-year-old has become even less reliable now that he's 82."
Dyson never earned a Ph.D., but in addition to his 18 honorary degrees he has received numerous awards, ranging from the National Book Critics Circle Award for his 1984 book, "Weapons and Hope," about the nuclear threat, to the 2000 Templeton Prize for Progress in Religion. Among his six children are digital age guru Esther Dyson and science historian George Dyson.
To read "A Many-Colored Glass" is to get a sense of the wonder and awe that continue to drive our successes and failures at understanding the world around us. While Dyson continues to write prolifically, if you ask him what he's up to, he's apt to refer to his work as "scribbling equations on paper." In conversation, Dyson is studied and frank, unafraid of one-word responses -- all the better, it seems, to spirit him along to a question he might like better.
You write that it's impossible to observe both the scientific and the religious aspects of human nature at the same time. What do you mean?
For me, science is just a box of tricks, and I enjoy playing with them. It's a form of exercise. It has nothing to do with philosophy, certainly even less to do with religion. It's essentially just a skill that I happen to have learned. Some people think about science much more solemnly. For me, science has nothing much to do with deep thoughts.
Do you think science and religion are at odds?
No. I think it's only a small fraction of people who think that. Perhaps they have louder voices than the others.
What do you think of what Richard Dawkins is doing.
I think Richard Dawkins is doing a lot of damage. I disagree very strongly with the way he's going about it. I don't deny his right to be an atheist, but I think he does a great deal of harm when he publicly says that in order to be a scientist, you have to be an atheist. That simply turns young people away from science. He's convinced a lot of young people not to be scientists because they don't want to be atheists. I'm strongly against him on that question. It's simply not true what he's saying, and it's not only not true but also harmful. The fact is that many of my friends are much more religious than I am and are first-rate scientists. There's absolutely nothing that stops you from being both.
Dawkins calls religion as a virus.
I disagree totally. He has the arrogance to say that anyone who does not share his views is infected with a virus. No wonder he cannot coexist peacefully with them.
You've mentioned that you believe in God. How would you characterize your religion?
For me, religion is much more about a community of people than about belief. It's fine literature and music. As far as I can tell, people who belong to my church don't necessarily believe anything. Certainly we don't talk about that much. I suppose I'm a better Jew than I am a Christian. Jewish religion is much more a matter of community than it is of belief, and I think that's true of us Christians to a great extent, too.
Were your parents Christians?
Yes. Nominally. I would say they're practicing Christians, but not believing Christians.
What's the difference?
Oh, it's totally different. A practicing Christian is somebody who lives a Christian life and likes to worship in common with a lot of other people and considers the church as a community to which to belong, but you don't inquire closely as to what the others believe. Of course, some people take belief very seriously, and others don't.
You've said, "My conception of God is not weakened by my not knowing whether the physical universe is open or closed, finite or infinite, simple or multiple. God for me is a mystery, and will remain a mystery after we know the answers to these questions ... I cannot imagine that he is greatly impressed by our juvenile efforts to read his mind."
I don't remember the context out of which this remark arose. Maybe I was thinking of the fight between Galileo and the Aristotelian philosophers of his day. The Aristotelians wanted to keep the heavens separate from the earth so there would be room for God in the sky. Galileo said the moon was a world like the earth with mountains and seas. Translated into modern language, Galileo was saying that the size and shape of the universe are not telling us anything about God.
Physicist Richard Feynman has said that nobody understands quantum mechanics. Has the interpretation of quantum mechanics become a religion among scientists?
I wouldn't say that. For me, the important thing about quantum mechanics is the equations, the mathematics. If you want to understand quantum mechanics, just do the math. All the words that are spun around it don't mean very much. It's like playing the violin. If violinists were judged on how they spoke, it wouldn't make much sense.
You write that as our understanding of biology advances, so too will our understanding of religion.
It impacts upon our understanding of theology. What I was pointing out is that human theology is based on our own value system -- above all our knowledge of good and evil as we experience it. Take an autistic child. I took the case of Jessica Park, who is a friend of mine who happens to be autistic. If she had a theology, it would be quite different because she cannot understand other people suffering. She has no conception of other people's existence in the way we have. It's a radically different world that she lives in. You can tell by the fact that she can't understand the difference between "I" and "you." She uses the words indiscriminately.
So the idea of a suffering savior would have no meaning for her at all. If she had a theology, it wouldn't involve sin. One thing that is characteristic of autistic people is that they cannot tell a lie. Jessica never tells a lie because to tell a deliberate lie, you have to have the idea of deceiving somebody. That's something she couldn't imagine. Since there is no sin, there can be no fall from grace and no redemption.
The example of Jessica shows us how our own view of the world might be equally skewed. There may be many essential features of the world to which we are blind, just as she is blind to other people's thoughts and feelings. So our theology also reflects our possibly skewed view of the world.
Article Courtesy : Onnesha Roychoudhuri/ salon.com
In his new collection of essays, "A Many-Colored Glass," renowned physicist Freeman Dyson turns his thoughts to do-it-yourself biotech and breeding one's own pet lizard, the fallacies of global warming science, science fiction (with a tip of the hat to recently departed Madeleine L'Engle) and the importance of biology to the future of religion.
To Dyson, a deeper understanding of the human brain means a better understanding of theology and perhaps more tolerance for those with different beliefs.
Such broad-spectrum thinking, particularly for a scientist, usually puts you in one of two camps: quack or genius. Dyson has been called both. Yet his penchant for challenging conventional wisdom is matched by a sense of humor, a necessary attribute for any scientist who has seen seven decades' worth of scientific hits and flops -- some of them his own.
In the science world, Dyson is best known for unifying the three versions of quantum electrodynamics invented by Julian Schwinger, Shinichiro Tomonaga and his friend and colleague Richard Feynman. But it's his broader writings on nuclear weapons, the science of immortality and the expectation of extraterrestrial intelligence that have captured the public.
Dyson is quick to remind readers that he's a scientist, not a soothsayer. He has said that "it is better to be wrong than to be vague" and has certainly suffered the former rather than the latter. Recalling his advice to a young Francis Crick to stick with physics rather than waste his time in biology, Dyson quips, "When I was a young and arrogant physicist, I tried to predict the future of physics and biology. Even a smart 22-year-old is not a reliable guide to the future of science. And the 22-year-old has become even less reliable now that he's 82."
Dyson never earned a Ph.D., but in addition to his 18 honorary degrees he has received numerous awards, ranging from the National Book Critics Circle Award for his 1984 book, "Weapons and Hope," about the nuclear threat, to the 2000 Templeton Prize for Progress in Religion. Among his six children are digital age guru Esther Dyson and science historian George Dyson.
To read "A Many-Colored Glass" is to get a sense of the wonder and awe that continue to drive our successes and failures at understanding the world around us. While Dyson continues to write prolifically, if you ask him what he's up to, he's apt to refer to his work as "scribbling equations on paper." In conversation, Dyson is studied and frank, unafraid of one-word responses -- all the better, it seems, to spirit him along to a question he might like better.
You write that it's impossible to observe both the scientific and the religious aspects of human nature at the same time. What do you mean?
For me, science is just a box of tricks, and I enjoy playing with them. It's a form of exercise. It has nothing to do with philosophy, certainly even less to do with religion. It's essentially just a skill that I happen to have learned. Some people think about science much more solemnly. For me, science has nothing much to do with deep thoughts.
Do you think science and religion are at odds?
No. I think it's only a small fraction of people who think that. Perhaps they have louder voices than the others.
What do you think of what Richard Dawkins is doing.
I think Richard Dawkins is doing a lot of damage. I disagree very strongly with the way he's going about it. I don't deny his right to be an atheist, but I think he does a great deal of harm when he publicly says that in order to be a scientist, you have to be an atheist. That simply turns young people away from science. He's convinced a lot of young people not to be scientists because they don't want to be atheists. I'm strongly against him on that question. It's simply not true what he's saying, and it's not only not true but also harmful. The fact is that many of my friends are much more religious than I am and are first-rate scientists. There's absolutely nothing that stops you from being both.
Dawkins calls religion as a virus.
I disagree totally. He has the arrogance to say that anyone who does not share his views is infected with a virus. No wonder he cannot coexist peacefully with them.
You've mentioned that you believe in God. How would you characterize your religion?
For me, religion is much more about a community of people than about belief. It's fine literature and music. As far as I can tell, people who belong to my church don't necessarily believe anything. Certainly we don't talk about that much. I suppose I'm a better Jew than I am a Christian. Jewish religion is much more a matter of community than it is of belief, and I think that's true of us Christians to a great extent, too.
Were your parents Christians?
Yes. Nominally. I would say they're practicing Christians, but not believing Christians.
What's the difference?
Oh, it's totally different. A practicing Christian is somebody who lives a Christian life and likes to worship in common with a lot of other people and considers the church as a community to which to belong, but you don't inquire closely as to what the others believe. Of course, some people take belief very seriously, and others don't.
You've said, "My conception of God is not weakened by my not knowing whether the physical universe is open or closed, finite or infinite, simple or multiple. God for me is a mystery, and will remain a mystery after we know the answers to these questions ... I cannot imagine that he is greatly impressed by our juvenile efforts to read his mind."
I don't remember the context out of which this remark arose. Maybe I was thinking of the fight between Galileo and the Aristotelian philosophers of his day. The Aristotelians wanted to keep the heavens separate from the earth so there would be room for God in the sky. Galileo said the moon was a world like the earth with mountains and seas. Translated into modern language, Galileo was saying that the size and shape of the universe are not telling us anything about God.
Physicist Richard Feynman has said that nobody understands quantum mechanics. Has the interpretation of quantum mechanics become a religion among scientists?
I wouldn't say that. For me, the important thing about quantum mechanics is the equations, the mathematics. If you want to understand quantum mechanics, just do the math. All the words that are spun around it don't mean very much. It's like playing the violin. If violinists were judged on how they spoke, it wouldn't make much sense.
You write that as our understanding of biology advances, so too will our understanding of religion.
It impacts upon our understanding of theology. What I was pointing out is that human theology is based on our own value system -- above all our knowledge of good and evil as we experience it. Take an autistic child. I took the case of Jessica Park, who is a friend of mine who happens to be autistic. If she had a theology, it would be quite different because she cannot understand other people suffering. She has no conception of other people's existence in the way we have. It's a radically different world that she lives in. You can tell by the fact that she can't understand the difference between "I" and "you." She uses the words indiscriminately.
So the idea of a suffering savior would have no meaning for her at all. If she had a theology, it wouldn't involve sin. One thing that is characteristic of autistic people is that they cannot tell a lie. Jessica never tells a lie because to tell a deliberate lie, you have to have the idea of deceiving somebody. That's something she couldn't imagine. Since there is no sin, there can be no fall from grace and no redemption.
The example of Jessica shows us how our own view of the world might be equally skewed. There may be many essential features of the world to which we are blind, just as she is blind to other people's thoughts and feelings. So our theology also reflects our possibly skewed view of the world.
Article Courtesy : Onnesha Roychoudhuri/ salon.com
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Alien Attack
President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.
"Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news."
"Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first."
"The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."
"Gosh, and the good news?"
"The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."
"Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news."
"Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first."
"The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."
"Gosh, and the good news?"
"The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Farm Fugitives
A Welshman, an Englishman and a Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running they spotted a barn and ran inside.
Once inside they each hid in a old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said... ''Meow'.'
"Just cats," he thought.
He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said... ''Woof'.'
"Just dogs," he thought.
As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded his sack he said... ''Potatoes!''
Once inside they each hid in a old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said... ''Meow'.'
"Just cats," he thought.
He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said... ''Woof'.'
"Just dogs," he thought.
As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded his sack he said... ''Potatoes!''
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